For whom do you bathe and make yourself beautiful? The voice of the cuckoo is calling you home. Hundreds of flowers fall, but still the cuckoo is calling you home. Even in the midst of jumbled mountains, the call is still clear.

What a moment we are living. Flowers fall all around us. We are alone at home. We connect online which is an unexpected gift and also a difficult substitution. Being on zoom so much lately is not always a wondrous experience for me. I notice my internal compression feels doubly confining there. I crave intimacy, conversation, insight and yet I am sometimes afraid of fully appearing.

I often feel caught in my worst manifestation on zoom – a cardboard puppet of myself appearing in a tiny room, on mute. When I speak, what I say does not reflect what I feel. I can’t find myself. I can’t see my friends very well, and I have no idea what my face is doing. Even in the midst of covid 19 epidemic I think about how I am appearing!

External confinement is real, but I want to break out of what is really an internal confinement. Preservation of a limitation I don’t really need or want.

I’m in a rigid stance at the edge of a life-giving waterfall.

Life asked: Why are you making yourself conform to something that has no real meaning for you? Suddenly it was very funny. Like being caught naked in a mall where everyone is shopping for clothes. I fell.

The Cuckoo’s voice was already in me, calling me home. Listen, it was saying loudly. Go ahead, let go! In that short second it froze my next thought and the universe could shine through. This is how koans work!

This one has so much to teach,  here in the jumbled mountains. Limiting beliefs can fall and there is joy in that. I can still put on my favorite earrings to walk on my deserted road!

Corey
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